


Lancelot deserved better

by ghosteebo



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Episode: s04e01-02 The Darkest Hour, Established Relationship, Gen, Gwaine Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), He gets one technically, I Tried, I'm Sorry, M/M, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Gwaine (Merlin), Protective Lancelot (Merlin), Secret Relationship, no beta we die like lancelot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28861809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghosteebo/pseuds/ghosteebo
Summary: What if gwaine knew about Merlin's magic and wasn't knocked out at the veil. What if Merlin and Lancelot were a little closer than we are lead to believe. And what if Merlin didn't bottle up all his feelings and just kinda let them all out - quite violently let them out.
Relationships: Gwaine & Lancelot (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin), Lancelot/Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 86





	Lancelot deserved better

**Author's Note:**

> There's like one swear word or something and like I'm not sure the characterisation is too great but hell I can do what I want you're not my mam. And if you are please leave. :)
> 
> So yeah ok anyway I'm sorry I hate myself too guys. It's gonna be an angsty one shot because that's all I can write. Buckle up kids let's go on an adventure.
> 
> Oh and I know it's a shite title I couldn't think of one. It was initially it's a work in progress Ao3 calm down but that wasn't appropriate so enjoy that now.

Arthur lay unconscious on the ground at the warlocks feet, the only sign he was alive was the steady but shallow movement of his chest up and down, almost rhythmical. 

"Ha wish you'd do that more often Merlin, could save us a lot of hassle". Gwaine's attempt to lighten the mood was admirable but ultimately fell flat in the circumstances. The long haired knight looked away from Merlin's stoic form to Lancelot. Lancelot smiled at gwaine's poor attempt at humour and gestured a sort of better luck next time towards his friend. 

"So, Emrys..." The voice of the Cailleach interrupted the exchange between the Knights and drew their attention back over to Merlin who was still standing stock still, glaring down the Cailleach over Arthur's unconscious body.

Gwaine looked over to Lancelot and mouthed Emrys in utter confusion. Wasn't Merlin just Merlin? He didn't seem to flinch at the name though and continued his staring match.

"...you choose to challenge me after all." Lancelot noticeably tensed beside Gwaine at this. Whatever it was that was going on he seemed to have more insight than he did. When Merlin finally gathered enough courage together to tell him about his magic he never expected to be privy to everything but it still stung a bit that Merlin obviously didn't trust him as much as he trusted Lancelot.

"Will you give yourself to the spirits to save your prince" what!

"Woah there Merlin are you really going to do this" Gwaine started, edging towards Merlin as though he was trying to bring a friend down from a ledge. Well realistically that is what was happening effectively. Merlin was going to kill himself to save Camelot. His best friend was willing to die here and now and didnt even tell him. 

"It is my destiny, Gwaine. It's my job to protect Arthur so it will be my life to save Camelot. Can you understand that Gwaine" there was a fear present in Merlin's voice as he tried to convince his friend of his choice. It just wasn't fair, Merlin had given so much for Arthur already, why must he pay with his life too.

"Perhaps I do Merlin but this can't be the way, please. You are the most powerful person I know there must be another way." He didn't care that he sounded pathetic and weak, hell he may as well be on his knees begging but he was not going to lose his friend, not again.

The warlock opened his mouth to argue when suddenly the Cailleach's sneering voice broke off the staring match currently happening between the two friends.

"But your time among men is not yet over, Emrys...even if you want it to be."

Whirling around to face her both men were struck by the horrible sight in front of them. The Cailleach was grinning awfully, all blacked teeth and gums while behind her stood Lancelot, noble right to the end. There he stood right at the mouth of the tear between the worlds, with tears in his eyes as he looked up and made eye contact with Merlin. Light seemed to dance around him as he moved closer and closer towards the rip. While they were arguing Lancelot must've crept past them and decided that his life should be the one that is forfeited.

"No, Lancelot don't!" A broken cry escaped from Merlin as he moved to stop him from closing the veil. Before he could even take one step to prevent him, Lancelot had turned around and smiled at him, centimetres from falling into the void forever.

"I love you Merlin".

Then he was gone.

A sorrowful scream of anguish filled the room and it took Gwaine a second to realise where it had come from, Merlin was the one who had made that noise. 

The Cailleach only laughed and disappeared, along with the veil and the ever noble Lancelot. Gone for good. 

Merlin screamed once again, a broken and painful sound as he sobbed. Seeing the sorry state of his friend Gwaine rushed over and caught him just before he fell to the floor in his grief. Poor Merlin, Lancelot obviously meant a great deal to him, even more than Gwaine had realised initially. 

"Merlin, hey hey Merlin calm down breathe with me" he soothed as he heard his friends breathing pick up pace as he continued to sob heavily into Gwaine's chest, screams of Lancelot's name were heard amongst the almost painful crying. "Come on now, please Merlin please breathe"

Nothing seemed to be working as the warlock continued to scream out for a friend who will never return, never come back to him. In his anguish he punched Gwaine's chest, shouting as he went,

"Lancelot, y-you fucking idiot. I LOVE YOU! W-WHYYY. Please Lance. I-I need you" 

It was heart wrenching to watch him sob, tearing the harsh, gasping cries from his heart, all for his lover, knowing there was nothing he could do to help or save him but he needed to get Merlin under control lest he do himself some damage in the process. Still kneeling down on the concrete floor, the taller man pinned his friends arms to his chest, preventing him from moving much and just held him as he sobbed more for all he had lost; his tears ran freely and fast down his face and onto Gwaine's cold chainmail.

"Shhhh Merlin it's gonna be okay. I'm so so sorry but come on we need to get out of here and back to Camelot"

At that moment Arthur came around, lying face down on the floor with a nasty headache from the fall. The piercing shrieks he was hearing also wasn't really helping much. He sat up to try and distinguish the noise and more importantly find out what happened with the veil when he came face to face with Gwaine. He was knelt rather uncomfortably on the ground grappling with a shuddering Merlin, still attempting to kick and punch his way out of his grasp and towards an unknown place. It took the Prince a few seconds before he realised that the horribly broken sounds were coming from Merlin. 

Happy go lucky Merlin, who was always smiling, impertinent and rude was screaming and sobbing into Gwaine's chest and it seemed had been for some time by the state of Gwaine's mail and how tired he looked. Merlin might joke and say Arthur was oblivious but he could clearly tell what had happened by the one face missing from the room and the blinding absence of the veil. It was clear Lancelot had given his life for Camelot, what Arthur couldn't understand was why Merlin was so torn up. Yes okay he loved Lancelot like a brother, he was one of his most trusted knights and he was devastated by this outcome but Merlin, well Arthur had never seen him this emotional ever.

Moving closer to where his friends knelt Arthur could hear some of the mutterings between the ungodly screams of pain and Gwaine's placating shushes. 

"Lance come back, I love you please please I love you. I can't live without you. PLEASE" 

Oh 

Merlin and Lancelot were lovers. That changes everything. 

After a lengthy amount of time Merlin finally calmed down and dropped off to sleep out of sheer exhaustion at his emotional outburst. Gwaine and Arthur daren't move lest they woke the poor boy who lay in Gwaine's lap, they just continued to sit on the floor staring at their friend. 

"Bloody hell what happened here!" 

Leon, Elyan and Percival ran into the room, swords draw and ready to fight. They were covered in scratches and cuts from the wyvern and looked like they were about to drop. 

"We heard screaming and came as soon as we could, we were on the other side of the ruins sorry we took so long" Leon explained sheathing his sword. He looked around confused as though doing the mental math for himself. ".... Where's Lancelot?" 

The trepidation in his voice said it all as Gwaine just shook his head and held Merlin tighter as he muttered in his sleep. He was still calling for Lancelot. Still calling for a lover that will never return to him. 

And that hurt. It hurt them all.


End file.
